The weekend of Molly Crabapple’s Shell Game opening I was being followed by a reporter. The reporter was writing a profile on me for a NYC based publication, and it either started shaping up into a cover story or was intended to be one from the beginning. They’d chosen that weekend specifically…
Stoya, Again, I am sorry that we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. I reached out after the shoot immediately, to express my concern, when i saw your tweet, but that seems to have had little effect. Allow me to answer your specific issues, since you felt the need to discuss the session publicly.
When you walked into my home studio you were already mad at me and I am not sure why. Indeed I had been speaking to James about a collaboration, an art video, as well as trying to figure out a way, financially to help out our mutual friend get his key art. So when you guys arrived and he high fived me and grabbed my hand, it was because we had been emailing for months.
I asked you what you wanted for lunch and you said nothing. I was concerned that you would not be eating until after we wrapped at 2. I persisted, but you assured me you would be fine. Honestly i didn’t hear your request for coffee, but nevertheless put a fresh pot on the table next to you- with mugs, milk and sugar, etc. I asked you what the interviewer discussed so that I might represent you in an appropriate way, since no one from the pub had informed me what the editorial was discussing.
To be clear, this shoot was in my home; the shoes in the hallway you refer to were my childrens’. The heels I lent you for the full length shots were my own. We were trying to accomplish this assignment on a shoestring budget which is why we asked about your own hair and makeup contacts. It was hard to connect with you since you were angry with me when you arrived, so i thought it best to stay quiet. When I inquired as to whether you wanted something to cover up your chest for the close up shot, you quipped angrily, “everyone keeps asking me to cover my tits, do you all think they are ugly!?” I really don’t know why you would say such a thing.
Its a shame since I think we got some really great images, you are very beautiful and I am sad if they can’t ever see the light of day. At the end I had a chance to do the low light experimental work that I have been doing lately, which is why i borrowed the Nikon. Those shots are super pretty too….For my part, I consciously made the effort to dress down, wear no makeup, and really did want you to feel comfortable for the session. It pains me to think you were so unhappy. I wanted you to look beautiful and strong.
Its a harsh world out there, and even more so for us professional women. I wish you were not adding to the divisiveness and anger toward women in our culture.